"Not so nice words/actions" were spoken to me yesterday by another mom, in front of a group of moms (with children 10 feet away) over something simple and silly that could have been dealt with easily in private, in my perspective.
I didn't argue, didn't react visibly. I didn't want to feed any drama.
Anyone who knows me knows I'm a "peace-love-joy, hippie, kind -of- gal"! This was so far out of my realm.
So, what does "peace-love-joy, hippie, kind-of- gal" do in this case?
I had a good cry when I left! A really good one ( embarrassingly so!).
I felt bullied and like she had tried to humiliate me in front of others.
When I got home, I realized that the mom who spoke those words was a great teacher for me.
In her actions, things were illuminated for me.
The illumination reminded me of how gentle and loving my close friends and family are and that I apparently need to do some healing inside of me if she could find a button to push that easily.
I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt my feelings, she just wanted to make a point, I'm sure.
Apparently, there was something within me that needed to cry.
In that moment, I realized that the dynamics of the confrontation reminded me of a time in my childhood, when I felt bullied, left out and embarrassed, and that's why the tears sprang up.
It was a cycle being repeated until I learn the lesson of how to handle it better.
Inhale, exhale…yes, it was a "lightbulb" moment!
So…now what? The "lightbulb" is lit up, but what to do with it?
A friend of mine shared a technique with me:
She guided me to imagine the 'me' that was emotionally hurt as a child. She said to picture the current me giving advice to the 'child' me, making sure to let the inner child know that she will have awesome friends when she's older, that she will be loved and accepted for who she is and that she is loved always by someone and is always worthy of love, no matter how it may appear at the time.
It may sound simplistic, but it's about healing the old 'hurt's that stop the heart from loving fully in the here and now. I don't know about you, but I want lots of healthy love, here and now! It's time to get rid of old baggage, take that trash out!
Theoretically, now that I'm aware of what 'button' was pushed and am doing something to heal it, that emotional trigger won't be mine anymore if someone were to push that 'button' again.
Sometimes the moments of drama and people who bring them are our best teachers.
The next time you have a reaction to something someone else does/says, what if you take a deep breath, have a good cry (maybe) and see if you can figure out why it 'got your goat'. Do you have some inner child work to do too?
So, even though I may not send the other mom a thank you card, I have gratitude to her for illuminating the healing that needed to be done so I could let go of old stuff that no longer serves me, allowing space for new joy and love to fill in. I deserve it! So do you!
Another bonus 'lightbulb moment' : I also know to pray for easy, joyful life lessons from here on!
Namaste. The lighbulb in me honors the lightbulb in you !
:)Kristy
